people usually care for their dads more on fathers day...I wish to celebrate with you everyday...the only thing I'm still really proud of is that from young you have tought me how to "goodnight/goodbye kiss" and "welcome hug"...although I feel that its hard to communicate with you nowadays Im still glad we maintain this...many ppl never hugged or kissed their dads before...
that's the main reason I feel so sensitive about everything regarding to you...everything you said and did to me...it means so much to me...since I felt that we used to be so close when I was young...I remember I was always so proud to have a dad like you because we used to always think the same...
since mom has gone, you totally became the reverse person of who I thought you were....the starting time I really couldn't accept your sudden change...I kept asking myself why you became like this...as time slowly passed I realized that you still love and care for us alot...you just didn't know how to deal with alot of the things that came by...
I know you still can't let go of the past...you always told me not to look back but you're the one who is looking back...everytime I try to start a conversation with you, it always ends up the same...i will be crying to sleep and you will be complaining about what mom did...how she was...
the past is the past, no matter what mom did in the past, no matter how wrong you think she was...she's not here anymore...please stop comparing me with her, stop assuming me even before you give me a chance to explain myself...its hurting us all....
I want to tell you how much I love and care about you but I can't....everytime before I start my tears fall...you hate to see ppl crying but I really can't help it....Im sorry...>.< it really hurts me that you say i'm FAKE when I cry...i admit I was FAKE in the past...I hated my past school life...i was too afraid of loneliness, too afraid to hear how ppl thought of me...
but after all this I realized what is most important in my life...I am never fake to anyone anymore...I will never even again live my life to please other ppl...I might look strong on the outside but whn Im with my family, I'm the most vulnerable...outside I can always control my tears but in front of you guys I can't...
I believe that there will be one that day you finally realize you can trust me...I will try to prove to you...but now for the time being I'll just keep continueing to try to show you how much I love you...
Happy Father's Day my dearest daddy...I love you with all my heart more than anything else...
I promise I will live my life to the fullest and try not to let you worry bout me anymore...wish you luck in everything you do and wish for...wish you happiness in life...wish you health to continue all your dreams..., Muacks ♥
